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So long my cruel inspiration.

He used to inspire me to wake up so very early in the morning, take a shower, dress up, eat and be on my way to school. He used to inspire me to go to every single class. He used to inspire me..

But not anymore.
I don't wanna go to school tomorrow. I don't wanna wake up at four in the morning to get ready for school. I don't wanna go to any of my classes. I don't wanna see him or talk to him.

I hate this. I like how I used to feel. I loved it, actually. Even though it scares the hell out of me sometimes. You know, the thought of falling so deep for him. That scares me--a lot. But I still love feeling those things, though.
I love how I'd be kilig just because he said something nice. I love how he'd always tease me cause I am so clumsy (sometimes). I love how he pretends to be mad at me cause of my kakulitan. I love how he'd ask me if his answer's right before he raises his hand and answer the professor's question. I love.. I love all the simple things that he does.

And now.. all of it is gone. Flew right out of the fucking window.
All the thousand reasons that I have for liking him was overtaken by one stupid thing. Oh, damn it. Just because of one stupid thing, I am now completely annoyed with him. He makes me want to jump off a freaking building and fucking kill myself. Seeing him makes me so freaking angry. Even with all the thousand reasons that I used to have for liking him, I still can't find a single reason from those that would actually make myself believe now that I once liked this human being. Makes me wanna commit suicide. ASAP.


I feel sad and irritated at the same time.
But I guess I'll have to face him anyway, despite of me not wanting to.
Counting down the days 'till the end of the semester.


So long...

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