Non-sense. The past few days has been a complete non-sense. I felt like someone punched me in the face and knock all my senses out of me. I've been totally indifferent of the things around. Worrying about that crap certainly did no good to myself.
I said before that this time, things would have to be different. Distinctive pieces of my life would have to change in one way or another. But history just has to repeat itself. No matter how much I try to fight, it just simply refused to budge. Certainly feels like I'm doomed into having this fucked up life for the rest of eternity.
I have always been bowing down to all these shit that's been transpiring in my eighteen years of existence in this world. Too afraid to scrap and brawl for my own good. Too petrified of what might or might not happen if I take things in my own hands. I brag about how strong I am. How independent and unconventional I am. Those may be true, in some ways or instances. I am scared. And I am scared that I won't ever stop being scared.
How will things in my life be reformed into new ones if all I could ever think about is how scared I am of change?
Wrong place, wrong people, wrong time. Maybe that's IT. Maybe that's what's wrong with this life that I have. I ceaselessly allow myself to be oppressed by the wrong things, just because of my stupid fear. If I want things to be not the same as it always has been, I'd have to start standing up for myself. I can't keep following the "wrong" things in my life.
I was just utterly overwhelmed with all the fucked up shit that has happened. I've said it before and I'll say it again, this time will be different. History can't repeat itself no more.
But for the mean time, I'm still the same old me. Struggling to find my way out of this very intricate maze I call MY LIFE.
I said before that this time, things would have to be different. Distinctive pieces of my life would have to change in one way or another. But history just has to repeat itself. No matter how much I try to fight, it just simply refused to budge. Certainly feels like I'm doomed into having this fucked up life for the rest of eternity.
I have always been bowing down to all these shit that's been transpiring in my eighteen years of existence in this world. Too afraid to scrap and brawl for my own good. Too petrified of what might or might not happen if I take things in my own hands. I brag about how strong I am. How independent and unconventional I am. Those may be true, in some ways or instances. I am scared. And I am scared that I won't ever stop being scared.
How will things in my life be reformed into new ones if all I could ever think about is how scared I am of change?
Wrong place, wrong people, wrong time. Maybe that's IT. Maybe that's what's wrong with this life that I have. I ceaselessly allow myself to be oppressed by the wrong things, just because of my stupid fear. If I want things to be not the same as it always has been, I'd have to start standing up for myself. I can't keep following the "wrong" things in my life.
I was just utterly overwhelmed with all the fucked up shit that has happened. I've said it before and I'll say it again, this time will be different. History can't repeat itself no more.
But for the mean time, I'm still the same old me. Struggling to find my way out of this very intricate maze I call MY LIFE.
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