I am going to personally dedicate this blog post to you, you ugly piece of so-called human being.
Appropriate.
Dear Miss HR Recruitment whatever you are,
I have sort of calmed down already, but not totally. What I need to do is fucking slap your face and tell you how much of a fucking idiot you are and then I'll move on. My girlfriend said that I should build a bridge and get over it, but what I really want to do is to literally make you a bridge so I could step on your face while I'm getting over you.
It's just fucking annoying and mind-boggling how you are still employed. I really don't get it. Someone like you should be out-of-job.
First of all, I'm a very talkative person. I just don't find it necessary to talk like a fucking parrot in a job interview. One has to be formal and direct with his/her answers and not go round and about, blabbing shit that isn't even directly connected to the question anymore. At least, that's what I know and that's what I've been taught in school. I don't know about you, though. You probably weren't listening when your professor/guidance counselor told you about that. It's really sad if that's the case.
When you are asked a simple question, give a direct and simple answer. Easy and uncomplicated. A job interview is far from a casual conversation with a friend. But I suppose you think otherwise. You asked me a simple question that requires a simple answer and that's what I did, I gave you a direct, simple answer. But still you sit there, staring at me, trying to intimidate me perhaps, and possibly waiting for more. So I said "that's it" cause really, what else am I suppose to fucking say? Then you tell me that I'm not spontaneous? What does spontaneity have to fucking do with this? You asked, I answered. That's it. There weren't any fillers (uh uhm uh eh oh) in my sentence cause I know how to answer and what to answer. Still, you sit there, tell me straight-on how I'm not spontaneous? What the fucking hell do you want me to tell you? My life story? What happened to me in my childhood years? How I grew up? I suppose not. Like I've said, job interviews are different from casual conversations with a friend. You are not my friend, nor would I ever want to be one.
Second, you can't really be all hypocritical and tell me how I sound mad and condescending when you yourself sound like a complete fucking bitch. You can't do that, you know. You just can't. It annoys me when people tell me something that's negative about me that I should change, when they are exactly like that. So I'm like what the fuck? You wanna hear condescending? Try recording your fucking own voice and listen to it over and over again. Now that's condescending, you idiot.
Third, you really don't expect me to give you a clear answer when your question wasn't even clear in the first place, now do you? So to avoid giving you the "wrong" answer, I ask you to elaborate your question, but you raise your voice at me and start sounding so fucking sarcastic, it fucking annoys my ear and my whole being that I just feel like slapping you right there and then.
You: Tell me about the best and worst call you've had?
A pretty broad question, isn't it? It could pertain to a personal or a work-related call. So I clarified the question and asked you, then you're like "OF COURSE WORK-RELATED", with a sarcasm tone but not really being sarcastic (I suck at vocabulary ok I'm sorry huhu) and with that annoying smug plastered on your face. Really now? Am I not allowed to have personal calls anymore? Jesus christ all calls cannot be work-related and you did not ask specifically anyway. What do you expect me to do? Read your mind or assume things? That's not how I work, sweetie. I clarify things and then go from there. I really don't understand how your stupid brain works--or no, it's probably not working at all, cause if it is, you wouldn't act that way.
And lastly, you're really ugly and I don't like your face and your outfit. I mean, I'm not beautiful myself but you're just worse and you don't even know how to dress yourself to at least look presentable. I don't like you. I know I'm being judgmental and mean cause who knows maybe you're a really nice person, but like they say, first impressions last and my first impression on you is really really really bad and I don't even wanna know you more to at least prove otherwise.
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