I realized..

It's only almost 8 in the morning. And I am already wide awake. Usually when I get hang-overs, I lie in my bed all day long. Doing absolutely nothing. But today, things are happening quite differently for me. I actually woke up at around 4 in the morning, thinking, "Why is my alarm clock not going off?" Then after a few minutes, I realized that it's Saturday. And I have NO school during Saturdays. How stupid of me. Oh wait. I just realized that we have a make-up class in Law today. Oh whatever. It's not mandatory anyway.

I just wanna ask, can you erase something--anything--from your brain? Cause I would really, seriously would like to delete something from my memory right now. And yes, lovely people, that memory would remain unwritten. :) But seriously, I wish backspace exists in real life. (Haven't I heard that one before?) So that if I wanna erase something, it would be just as easy as clicking a key from my "keyboard".


I was not able to blog about this thing yesterday, so I'm gonna blog about it now. This is something that I realized when we were having our session yesterday. I AM BLESSED WITH SO MANY GREAT FRIENDS. Friends who actually understand me. So how did that realization come about? Well, I was already feeling a bit tipsy when I talked to one of my classmates. We're not actually the super-close-talk-about-anything-and-everything-under-the-sun kind of friends. But I don't know, I just suddenly opened up to her. The conversation actually started on the payabangan type. You know, how Filipinos have this attitude that when drinking with friends, hinding-hindi mawawala yung pagyayabang. The most common example of this is: Wala ka sa lolo ko! But what my friend and I were saying was, "Mas madrama naman buhay ko sa'yo!" "Hindi ah! Mas madrama buhay ko!" Uhm, something like that. So then, she opened up her family problem to me. And I did the same. Then suddenly, as if some waterfall existed in my eyes, I was crying so much, I can't stop it anymore. I just kept on ranting and blabbing and ranting and blabbing about how fucked up my family is and my life is. Okay, here's the thing: I have never cried about my family problem in front of my friends before (except with my best friend). I tell them the problem, but I never cry. I tell them how my parents are to me, but I never cry. I tell them exaclty how my life is, but I never cry. As a matter of fact, I laugh. Yeah, I laugh. Weird, eh? Yup, that's me. I'm not used to crying in front of anyone. I usually just lie in my bed and pour out all the hurt and the anger and all the shit on my pillow. Sometimes I even feel that my pillow is the only one who can understand me. (EMO!)

Going back to my waterworks..
I poured out almost 18 years of life problems to my friends. And I've never been better after. It's so nice to be able to finally unleash all that tears of pain and sadness. Hindi ko inakalang maiintindihan nila ko. But they did. They even told me that they now understand why I act like how I act. At least now, some people understand where I'm coming from. I just feel so lucky. That even with my parents making me feel like a complete loser, I'd still have my friends sticking out for me. And I love them to death.



BUT SERIOUSLY, I WANNA ERASE SOMETHING FROM MY BRAIN. :|