Poured Syrup

I don't know how to describe what I've been feeling for the past few weeks. At first, I was kinda happy. Feeling great actually. Even though life throws its usual shit on me, I was still able to get through it. Family stuff, personal struggles, I got through it just fine cause of my friends. They were always there to make me feel better. Even if they don't exactly do anything to make me feel better, just the fact that they were there, and we were together having fun--drinking, talking, laughing, fooling around--these were more than enough to put a smile on my face; to make me happy. But when your friends aren't there anymore, when your friends start leaving you behind, you're left with nothing-- no one for that matter. I am not exactly in good terms with my family, and I usually despise being around them. And I don't have a sibling whom I can hang out with or whatever. So I turn to my friends for company. I turn to them to take my mind off of all the bullsh

I have not updated this thing in ages. Been too preoccupied with my Tumblr account--the blog I update almost every single day. Go check it out. I usually just blog here the stuff I don't want most of my internet friends to see. It's kinda like my sorta-private blog. (Sorta since some people know this blog still.) I just have to say though, I miss my old way of blogging. When being "internet/blogging famous" didn't matter that much to most people. When nobody judge your posts. When nobody follows a certain trend when it comes to their blog posts. When you blog just for the simple reason of wanting to. Nowadays, there are too many haters. Tumblr's just full of drama (seriously). Blogger is kinda this quiet place where you can just be yourself and not worry about what other people would think or say about you. You just blog. No more, no less. I miss this quiet place. But I have to admit that Tumblr already has this special place in my heart. No matter what

One day, they’re your friends, the next day they’re not. You of course, instantly blame yourself for the lost friendship, and you ask,  “What the hell did I do wrong?” Then the thought occurs to you. Maybe it’s not you. Maybe it’s not your fault. Maybe you didn’t do anything wrong. Maybe those people are just a couple of bastards who aren’t meant to be your friends in the first place. I’d like someone who I can keep and call my friend for the rest of my life. Not some douche who can easily be persuaded to the  “dark side”  and in just a snap, forget that you were once their friend. Forget that they once confided their feelings in you. Forget that you once helped them and gave them advice. Forget that you were once a part of their life. Once I say that I’ll have your back no matter what, I wasn’t kidding. Once I say that I’ll always be here for you, I wasn’t just saying that. Once I say that I’m your friend, I stick to my words. Plastics and back stabbers—these people have no room in m

I don't know why my Mom blames me for everything. I was about to sleep when something went in my eye. Common reaction of someone would be to scratch it, cause that usually works, but now, it didn't. I was too lazy to get up from my bed so I decided to just sleep it off and it'd probably be away by the time I wake up. But I can't sleep since that stupid something in my eye's irritating me. So I went to the bathroom to rinse my face. I tried to do that put-your-face-under-a-bucket-of-water-and-open-your-eye thing, but it didn't work either. Since my mother's already awake and was doing something in the kitchen, I went and asked her if she has Visine (or however you spell that). When I called her, she got startled. My Mom gets shocked very easily so I usually wait for the right moment to approach her cause every time I call her and she gets shocked, she automatically blames me for it. Even shouts at me and curses me for approaching her in a certain way. But

So Noynoy Aquino won as the new President of this country. What a bummer. I was kinda hoping that Erap Estrada would be the winner, and then Noynoy would lead another People Power for being a sore loser. I cannot believe that I will be spending another 6 years of my life in this country, with a dork as the president. Okay, just made me feel a little bit depressed. I don't wanna talk about politics anymore. It's making me more stupid.

This election is my first time to vote since I just turned 18 last year. It's a good thing my Mom forced me to register last September. Cause if it was up to me, I wouldn't register at all. I don't know where, I don't know how, plus I'm too lazy to go around the city trying to figure out how to become a registered citizen of this country. Anyway, I read my friends' group messages and blog posts saying that they waited hours in line just to vote. So I was kinda dreading the fact that it might happen to me too. So typical me, I went to the place 1 hour before the voting ends (which is at 7 pm). Since I've been doing that thing quite often (the last minute thing), I know that there would be two possibilities to the situation. 1, the place would be packed and 2, there would be less people. And yes, it was number 2 (lucky me pancit canton ). I went to the public school here in our baranggay, which is a walking distance away from where I live, and looked for my

I can't think clearly right now. Probably because of the "sex talk" Regine and I had a while ago. We were at KFC, and then suddenly, this topic came up. It's amazing me cause we've been friends for almost 14 years, but we barely talk about this sexual stuff. Back in high school, I was always the liberated one between the two of us. She usually gets totally grossed out whenever topics about sex comes up in our conversations. So it's kinda amazing how now, she can just talk about it. She's so open, and even tells me all the details. But mind you, my best friend's still a virgin. I just wanna clear that one out. On a completely different note, I feel like something has changed between us. We're not like before anymore. We barely talk nowadays and if ever we do, it'd just be a really short conversation. Or maybe it's just me. I think I need to take some rest now. Tomorrow's gonna be a new day and I'm hoping that things between us ar

I had the weirdest dream. There are two guys in our house and we were being attacked. Plants vs. Zombies, I suppose, cause I heard that in my dream. I don't know why Plants vs. Zombies since I didn't see any plants nor did I see any zombies. They say that our dreams are the products of our imagination, well, I just have to say that I have a really lame imagination if that's the case. Anyway, Regine asked me to go out tonight. But she said she wants to go somewhere cheap. I was thinking about going to UP and just hanging out at the Sunken Garden, eating isaw or chips or whatever. But I don't think that that's the kind of cheap she was looking for. You see, Regine is a rich girl. She grew up rich and not really used to the kind of "cheap trips" I usually am up for. But I don't know. Maybe if she just try it one time, she'll enjoy it. But the problem with her is, she's too uptight and she isn't exactly the person who likes to try new thing

I need to get a new pair of eye glasses. My eyes are starting to bug me already. I need to re-install my Nero video player cause I can't watch DVDs on my computer anymore. The only problem is, I don't know where I put the CD installer. My room's a mess, my life's mess. How much more mess do I need in my life. I need to clean my room, and that CD installer might just pop out of nowhere. I need to buy acetone cause my nails are so fucked up right now. I need my best friend cause I don't have money and she has acetone. I need to wash the dishes cause I just cooked and ate, and yet I'm still hungry. I need my cigarette. But like I've said, I don't have money. So I'll just probably look for some spare change around the house so I could buy myself some smoke. I need to finish downloading and watching American Idol before they reveal the winner and I'll just be extremely frustrated because the world spoiled the fun and the surprise for me. I nee

Ginger has certainly inspired me in so many ways. She was a part of my childhood, my early teen years, and now, my late teen years. Whenever I need good vibes, I just open my computer and watch her show. Her words and her thoughts never fail to inspire me and make me smile. The tighter you hold on to something, especially something that needs change and growth, the greater chance you have of losing it. But if you let it go, if you let it fly at the time that it most desperately needs to, well there's a darn good chance it may come back to you. -Ginger's Dad Honestly, I don't want change. I hate change. Especially when I'm already comfortable and used to what's around me at the moment. It's kinda like an obsessive compulsion thing. I have this obsessiveness with wanting things to be "perfect" all the time. If I know that what I'm about to do won't turn out the way I want it to, I won't bother doing it anymore. Which usually back fires ca

I turned off the computer and decided to just watch the television. As Told By Ginger was on on Nickelodeon. Like I've said a million times before, I love Ginger. I love how she writes about her life and her thoughts on her diary so beautifully. I wish I could do that. I'm not really a writer, I'm just someone who knows how to express herself in English fluently. But that's not really the point of this post. Like I've said, I already turned off the computer. But watching As Told By Ginger and listening to the thoughts that she's writing on her diary, is making me want to blog. So I decided to get up from my bed, open the computer and blog. Which is what I am actually doing right now. I am not making sense again. Hoodsie's eulogy made me think a lot about my family. About how sometimes, your family can make you really mad; or feel bad. And it gets hard to see the good things about them. But then one day, they're gone. And all you have left are the mem

Now I have a fucking poser. Oh Tumblr people. Can you please just stop all this bullshit already? It ain't fun anymore. I'm getting seriously pissed off already. Jesus christ people just don't know their fucking boundaries, do they? PUTANGINA LANG.

3 days before the 2010 elections here in the Philippines, and I still have no idea who I'm voting for (except for President and Vice-President). I already got my mind set on voting for Gordon as President and Bayani as Vice-President. My problem is, I don't know who to vote as senators, and those local officials here in our city. God why does it have to be so complicated to be grown-up.

My first day back and I am already sort of pissed off with blogspot. Why? All my previous comments disappeared! Like poof! I can't see them anymore. Oh blogspot, what the fuck did you do? Oh well, whatever. No big deal. I am going to calm down, cook myself pancit canton, get myself a glass of juice and smoke. Whew. Now this is what you call a totally lame and pathetic life. I really miss the boyfriend. I wish I could talk to him right now. :(

Who knew that Tumblr would have so much drama that it actually drove a few people away. Issues. Too much issues. My brain can't handle too much drama all at once. I seriously can't take that much. Oh well. I hope that going back to my blogspot account is a good idea. I think it's a lot more peaceful in here.