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It was YOU.

I was  ready. I was ready to move on. I was finally prepared to let go of all this stupid feelings and emotions I hold burning inside me. I know I was. But then, it seemed like faith had a different path for me. It has its way of ironically twisting the road on my ready-to-let-go-and-move-on-path. Tangina! I was almost there! On the edge of that bridge that I have so long looked for. I was ready to cross and leave everything behind me buried and forgotten in that dark lingering forest. I WAS READY. Pero bakit naman ganun?! Kung kailan naman handa na ko, biglang magiging ganito. What the fuck?! I hope that what they say is true. That even if life's totally unfair at times, it still is irrevocably just. Got my fingers-crossed right here. I am so hoping that that is all true. I want justice for martyrs like me to be served. EMO.


"It's killing me cause there ain't nothing that I can do. Baby, I stay in love with you... So I can't get over you now, no matter what I do." --Stay In Love, Mariah Carey

I know that it's wrong to still cling on to the feelings that I have for him. So hopeless and so not worth it. Ayoko ng sayangin ang oras ko sa kanya, But then again, as this oh-so ironic life puts it, he's my best friend. Yes, I absolutely fell in love with my best friend. Which was probably one of the stupid-est things that I have ever done. (At least for now.) Bestfriend?! Tangina naman kasi! Bakit ba naimbento pa ang salitang best friend?! HAYYY. He was my best friend. He is my best friend. I thought I quit on him already. I thought I've moved on and let go. But funny how that's working out for me. We actually already talked about not talking anymore, like we're complete and total strangers. But damn! Why did you have to show me even a tid bit of concern?! It just makes things worse than it already is. I don't wanna feel this way anymore. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I don't know what to feel anymore. Stupid as it may seem, your concern does make me feel a little better. But the worst part is, mas lalo naman akong naguluhan. Just like now. My mind's so bottled up with random thoughts that I don't even know what I'm writing about anymore.

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